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Friday, October 19, 2012

Breast Cancer Story - I Hope My Mom Forgives Me




I am a 41 year old single mother and entrepreneur of 2 fun & feisty girl tweenies.  I love their energy, still so innocent but testing my nerves all the way! For some reason I thought I would parent differently than my strict Mother, so I thought she was.  I had it all figured out, talk calmly and with respect, and incorporate chores into "fun" games!  Oh, those dreams slipped through my fingers...where did they go?  It started out positive?!

I now find myself relaxing over a glass or two of wine while I slave over the stove making them a home cooked meal, instead of what many families on the go do and stop at McDonald's or throw some so called "white meat" chicken nuggets in the oven, with a can of sodium drenched green beans and call it a healthy meal. I want my kids to have some quality & healthier foods dammit!  That's why I take the extra time to make it and create organic garlic chicken meals with fresh steamed broccoli and some type of whole grain pasta.  But as I am fully aware, they just don't get it.  They want those chicken nuggets!  I wishfully think, someday they will get it:)

One of my daughter's, Payton,is 11 ready to get "Martha" any day now and am awaiting the news.  We are so much alike, in that she is stubborn and she wants to learn her way.  Hmmm...sounds like someone I knew at one time. Oh, BTW, I was always grounded for something because my older sister told on me all the time!  What a crack-asaurus, I thought!

With my daughter being 11 now, all of a sudden she feels she is entitled to going to the school dances, getting a Facebook account, and that she is ABSOLUTELY the only kid in 6th grade without an Iphone.  It's not that I can't afford one, it's the principle in that I find nothing positive or constructive comes out of them, except mean girls being mean girls at an early age.  

The kicker is, if I didn't have to repeat myself 20 times for her to put her dishes away, or even flush the toilet after #2, or maybe turn off the light behind herself when she leaves a room, maybe I could give into the school dance, if I must:(.  But seriously, no, seriously I absolutely love to nag her...can you hear the sarcasm ooze from me frothing at the mouth?!

Do you know the feeling of always repeating yourself so many times? That you say to yourself, didn't I just say that?  

I wish my Mom was around to say, "sorry" for all the headaches I put her through growing up and that I get it now:(  She passed away 4 years ago, almost to the day of Breast Cancer. She was my best friend, the first person I would call with good or bad news, my labor and delivery nurse for both of my girls, my rock!  I believe in something after this life, what, I don't know....MOM, I hope you know HOW SORRY I AM.  I Miss you!

At the end of the day, I'm on them for a reason to have values, to respect anyone and everyone, to look someone in the eye when spoken to, to enjoy nature and to get outside and enjoy some fresh air, to think of others besides themselves, and to think outside the box...that's what keeps me going, and I can't wait to see them all grown up someday and to know I brought them up with values.  But most importantly, with a sense of humor as life is too short.  That is one thing they are incredible at, humor!:)  I hope they got that trait from me....Hmmmm....

Does anyone know where I'm coming from?

Peace,

Sharon




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